ruby bites

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Saturday, September 30, 2006

beta blogger

of beta blogger i can say this:

a nice little pond. it is clean. it is neat.
the water is warm. there is plenty to eat.
the pitbulls have everything pitbulls might need.
and they are all happy. quite happy indeed.

in short, i like it. and ruby is happy as a clam to be back rocking again.

i was unable to figure out how to change the format of rubybites into beta so i just said feck it and started from scratch.

you can find ruby and all her friends here:

ruby rocks

Thursday, September 28, 2006

ruby rocks in beta

i don't know anything about this beta deal. but i got to thinking maybe the name "ruby rocks" is available in beta. to my great delight it was available and i scooped it up. so i now have ruby rocks in beta.

the first thing i did was forget my password and lock myself out for a few hours. the second thing i did was take a nap. i've always found that when the going gets tough, nothing beats a nap. so i'm refreshed and fecking well locked out of ruby rocks again but i have high hopes.

there seems to be a trick to it that has eluded me so far. i'm about to yell "serenity now" and show this computer where the bear shit in the bucket but everytime i do that, i end up regretting it wishing i took a nap instead.

in any case, serenity now!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

dead souls - a pleasant surprise

this fecking ninja training is killing me. i'm too fecking sore and tired to do much.

on a positive note, "dead souls" by gogol is a real hoot. i'm about half way through it and it's quite funny. rather than glorifying mother russia, he pokes fun at the ruling and middle classes. i'm pretty sure i'll finish it which will be a nice accomplishment. i'm sure i've started this book a few times and never finished.

i couldn't stand all the self promotion and bullshit by the nfl around new orleans so i switched off the game and threw "mars attacks" into the dvd. i was given a copy for christmas and never got around to watching it because i haven't been drinking. i always liked to have a few drinks and smokes watching that movie so i waiting for this stage of sobriety to end but i gave in and watched it sober.

it was still i good movie but i kept thinking, this would be uber cool with a nice buzz. i would have to put "mars attacks" in my all time top 10 list. my favorite line, "don't run, we are your friends". love those fecking martians.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

my friend the pope

poor old benedict has been taking a bit of heat for his statements on islam and mohammed and the boys. it seems these muslims are easliy offended. while we have been on the edge of our chairs waiting for the outcome of this little spat the real god has not been consulted.

what does XENU think of all this? where the feck are tom cruise and john travolta when you need them. in case you're not familiar with XENU, here's a little of the "good news" according to l ron hubbard:

On the "advanced" levels (called OT levels) above the state of "Clear" they encounter the story of Xenu. Xenu was supposed to have gathered up all the overpopulation in this sector of the galaxy, brought them to Earth and then exterminated them using hydrogen bombs. The souls of these murdered people are then supposed to infest the body of everyone. They are called "body thetans". On the advanced levels of Scientology a person "audits out" these body thetans telepathically by getting them to re-experience their being exterminated by hydrogen bombs. So people on these levels assume all their bad thoughts and faulty memories are due to these body thetans infesting every part of their body and influencing them mentally. Many Scientologists go raving mad at this point if they have not done so already.

end quote.

i think there is a very real possiblity that one of the evil thetans has taken over the body of benedict and having a little fun at the expense of the vatican. i wouldn't want to be XENU when bendict and the boys figure this one out. there may be a final solution in the offing for all the thetans. they picked the wrong guys this time.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

my new hero

i saw hugo on the daily show the other night and he stole the show. all the other gas bags at the UN had no showmanship whatsoever. but hugo, he had the crowd in the palm of his hand. here's part of his speech:'

"Yesterday, the devil came here, right here, and it smells of sulfur still today," said Hugo Chavez. "Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here talking as if he owned the world."

he has also said some other good stuff in the past. on other subjects:

The great provocateur

This populist leader, who never missed an opportunity to address the nation, once described oil executives as living in "luxury chalets where they perform orgies, drinking whisky".

Church leaders in this overwhelmingly Roman Catholic country fared no better. "They do not walk in... the path of Christ," said Mr Chavez at one stage.

i have only one problem with hugo, why does he align himself with that little weasal from iran. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, shit i can't even pronounce his name but i can tell he's one tricky little guy. i think hugo should count his fingers every time he shakes hands with mahmoud.

the best thing about chavez, they named the literary science fiction awards after him. it is indeed an honor to win a hugo.

heinlein won the hugo in 1962 for stranger in a strange land.

frank herbert tied for the hugo in 1966 for dune. (he got ripped off)

if i was talking to the lovely mrs myshkin i'd ask her if we could have another kid and name him hugo. i got two chances on that one and slim just left town.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

back to ruby's adventure

why are dogs so fecking more photogenic than people?

it must be the lighting or have something to do with one of einsteins theories of bending light. i'm really a handsome devil ;) but next to ruby i look like a piece of shit.

back to ruby's adventure. yes, the lovely mrs myshkin admits to being responsible for leaving the gate open. she does not however admit to any blame. according to her there is a difference in being responsible for something and being to blame for something. in a nut shell, those who are to blame get fired while those responsible delegate blame. the lovely mrs myshkin seems to have delegated the responsibility of closing the gate to someone else. therein lies the problem.

i have a different point of view, she who opens the fucking gate, also closes the fucking gate. the two of us are like the pope and the muslims right now. not only do we disagree, we aren't on speaking terms. the lovely mrs myshkin has left the gate open several times so in my mind she is a recidivist. fecking recidivists are tougher to deal with than fundamentalists. she might even be a fundamentalist revisionist recidivist for all i know.

this ain't over by a long shot.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

days gone by

this was good old rocket and jack the turtle.

rocket was a noble beast. she was the opposite of ruby. rocket never had to go on a leash. she was smart and excercised good judgement. ruby isn't stupid, she just doesn't excercise any judgement at all.

i found rocket at a shelter and couldn't figure out why someone would get rid of such a beautiful well mannered dog. she had been abused and would cringe if you raised your voice. she didn't bark at anything for about a year after we got her.

after about a month i figured out why she had been abandoned. she was lactose intolerant. if you gave her any dairy products, there would be a big mess to clean up. the lovely mrs myshkin never hesitated to feed her any table scraps without thinking about the consequences. it led to some good arguments.

jack the turtle was a prick. i can't count the number of times he bit me. it was always the same. he would make a mess of the tank and i would stick my hand in to straighten things out while keeping an eye on a ball game on tv instead of keeping an eye on jack. i guess he thought my fingers were big fat worms. several times i held him up and threatened him with turtle soup if he bit me again but he knew i was bluffing.

jack the prick went into a semi hibernation every winter. one spring he never started eating and i was worried so i took him to a lake that was full of turtles and set him free. to this day i often go to the lake and try to find him. it usually stresses me out a great deal because there are always chinese kids trying to catch the turtles and i don't want jack to end up in the soup pot.

times gone by.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

ruby's big day

the lovely mrs myshkin left the gate open today and guess what happened.

ruby took herself for a walk.

she had been outside for about half an hour and i hadn't heard any barking. that is really rare for ruby. she usually finds something to attack about every 10 minutes. i went to look for her and she was gone. i noticed the gate was open.

i panicked and ran around in circles swearing for a few minutes then organized the angels into a search party. they were to search the neigborhood on foot while i drove to her favorite parks. i had visions of ruby being hit by a car or running into some old bag walking a miniature purebred whiner and eating it.

just as i was hopping in the car, the big angel came up the driveway with ruby. ruby was sprinting and her tail was wagging like crazy. this has happened before. big tough ruby gets a little nervous when she faces the cruel outside world and is happy as a clam when she returns to her own magic kingdom. i won't take ruby for granted for the next week or so and will treat her like the princess she is.

the lovely mrs myshkin is another story. she deserves to be punished for leaving the gate open. revenge is a dish best served cold, besides the redskins and cowboys are playing in an hour or so and i don't want to argue when the big game is on.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

i got dunked

i don't remember the experience but i'm told i was baptized. my baptism was special.

when i first learned of it i was pissed. as a teenager it rubbed me the wrong way when i heard that my soul have been given to some petulant god and his son without asking my permission. the details of my baptism amused me so i didn't get to angry. there was a cosmic balance to it that prevented me from getting too upset.

i was baptized in a prison by a padre whose main responsibility was administering last rights to condemned prisoners. my uncle was a prison guard at the time and was pals with the padre. one saturday my dad and uncle had a little too much to drink and decided to do the women folk a favor. they decided to get a few of us kids baptized.

in those days drinking a driving wasn't the mortal sin it is today. seatbelts and carseats for infants were unheard of. so my dad and uncle loaded me and two cousins into an old vauxhall and took us to prison to get baptized. like i said earlier, i don't remember a thing. i only know the story and smile everytime i think of it.

i don't know what makes me smile more, the fact i got baptized in a prison or the picture of my dad and uncle getting drunk and taking us to prison then returning home to face their angry wives.

now that i'm older, i'm glad i was baptized. shit, i could even be talked into doing it again if i had a holodeck like the one on the enterprise and could re-create everything exactly the same as it was 50 years ago. my uncle is dead but good old dad is still going strong.

i was dunked by a prison padre on the instructions of 2 drunken vikings.

so i got that going for me too, which is nice.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

head up arse

i just heard that tony blair has been offered a position at the "carlyle group". the story came out on aug 21 and i just heard it now. my head must have been firmly up the old arse that day. or maybe i was on trafalmador. i can't figure out how i missed this one but in my little world, this is big news.

the "carlyle group" is an insidious of businessmen that specialize in the industrial defense industry. the members are a who's who of power and corruption. take a look at the link below:

the carlyle group

i'm not sure that good old tony has officially accepted the position but i'm sure the money is very tempting. tony is the leader of the labour party in britain. in my little mind, that makes him a lefty. (yeah right) the bushes are republicans which in my little mind would make them righties.

lefty and righty are only labels and marketing gimmicks, the name of the game is money and it seems tony knows how to use the rules to his advantage. it's like me and ruby are in a little boat being pulled through tunnels with murals of many different nations and an irritating little song stuck in our heads that won't quit playing, "it's a small world".

i wonder if tony is going to spend christmas on the ranch with george and the bin ladens?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

can update

it's been a historic few days. last year i collected a total of $375.00 in empty beer and pop cans in my journeys.

drum roll please.....

as of today my total for 2006 stands at $381.75!!!

i broke the old record and there's still 2.5 months left in the year. on the down side these next few months will be slow. the utes don't drink their brains out in the parks when the weather gets cold.

that's only my first bit of good news. i've been uninvited to the saturday sessions of karate. it seems that saturdays are reserved for the more experienced people to work on advanced techniques. i must say that i wasn't heartbroken when i got the news. it was hard to keep the smile off my face.

broke the can record, saturdays off;

it that isn't nice, what is?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

nikolai gogol

rational argument alone will never fully overcome those who simply and passionately believe.


that gogol, he was a smart guy. a bit of an anti semite but a smart guy.

i went to the library to pick up dead souls and also picked up a copy of "taras bulba" because it was a brand new copy and it looked so nice. taras bulba is a short book so i've finished it already. i thoroughly enjoyed it and am debating whether to tackle dead souls or go something a little easier.

i think the idea of rational argument not being able to overcome passion goes a long way in explaining why some politicians get elected despite their seemingly irrational actions. it explains why i like rasslin, i passionately believe in ric flair.

that's all i have to say, i have to rest up before my 90 minutes of torture tonight.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

poor little slick willy

so poor old clinton is pissed that someone might say something negative about him on tv. well, boo hoo.

if i remember correctly slick willy got that nickname for a reason. he was slick and he was slippery. look at the fortune he's made on book deals and public speaking since he retired. the only saving grace is he has to face satan every night; hillary.

i'm a lefty so don't think i rambling on in support of bush. i just happen to think slick willy was no angel. his publicist has just had a really easy job reshaping his image due to the nitwit that followed him. (apologies to mr wit from ohio)

i can't figure out why he's so pissed about some stupid mini series airing tonight and monday. has anyone told him that football season starts this weekend and all the normal people will be watching the games sunday and monday night. anyone watching the stupid mini series will have already made up their mind on the whole 9/11 deal. all the beer drinking impressionable soles who are influenced by advertising and hype will be watching the greatest spectacle of greed in north america at the present time, the nfl.

in case you like the picture there's lots more here:

i have to go looking for cans so i don't have time to make a link

Friday, September 08, 2006

ruby really does bite!

Ruby strikes again

this time she bit a 70 year old lady who was a guest in our house. the lady was trying to be nice to ruby and ended up invading ruby's comfort zone. she suffered 2 cuts to her index finger, a nice cut on her wrist and a long cut on her elbow. ruby doesn't let strangers get to close to her. if anyone trys to pet her too aggressively, she bites. i've lost track of the number of people she has bitten. there are times when i wonder if ruby is worth the all trouble she causes.

on the positive side not many people like coming over to our house. which can be nice.

i'm in agony after karate last night. as we were finishing up the sensai informed the
class that the saturday session would start at 9:30 and end at 12:30. holy mother of pearl, that's 3 hours. 90 fecking minutes almost killed me.

i'm reminded of gilligan's island...a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

we all know what happend to the castaways. i'm fecked!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

poor little pitiful me

i think that's a jackson browne song.

the reason i'm drowning in self pity right now is in a moment of insanity i signed up for karate. my first class was last night and i'm aching all over right now. i have to go back tomorrow night. i figured the best way to make sure i stuck with it was to pay my dues for a year. if nothing else, i'm cheap and quitting now would be like throwing away thousands of empty beer cans and that ain't gonna happen.

the lesson last night lasted 90 minutes. after about 15 minutes i was sweating like a pig. my eyes were stinging due to the salty sweat running down my old wrinkled forehead. by the end of the class i was numb and must have looked like a moron unable to respond to simple commands.

3 lessons a week X 52 weeks = 156 lessons.

1 down 155 to go.

poor little pitiful me.